getting here - D2's birth story

This is D2's birth story.

On the evening of Monday Dec 21st I started having regular, painful contractions. That evening they were running 15 to 20 minutes apart but there was no reason for me to think that they wouldn't get closer together fairly quickly. This is how my labours had started for my other two children. I went to bed that evening and at 2am I was still having the contractions. So I came down to the main level of our house and walked around. I figured it would be soon, we would probably be calling the midwife by 6am or so. Oh how wrong I was. At 5am the contractions were still 15 minutes apart. They were painful enough that I would stop walking and breath through them. But still, 15 minutes apart. Miles away from the 5 minutes apart the midwife had given us as our target to call her. I called my Mom to come and stay with us. I felt that labour could start anytime and I wanted the freedom to high tail it to the hospital quickly.

These contractions continued along the same lines for all of Tuesday. Late afternoon Tuesday I called my midwife to ask her about what was happening. She said I wasn't even in labour. Again I figured things would get moving soon enough. I went to bed on Tuesday night and stayed there all night. I didn't sleep well because I was woken up by contractions 2 or 3 times an hour. Nothing terrible impressive and it annoyed the hell out of me. At 5:30 am M came into our room. He had a fever and couldn't sleep. I wasn't sleeping either so we both went down to the basement to enjoy some Treehouse TV while snuggling on the couch.

On Wednesday afternoon we had a midwife appointment. My primary midwife was on day duty and did a stretch and sweep. She told me that I was already 3-4 cm dilated and that D2's head was in -1 (which supposedly is good considering I wasn't TECHNICALLY in labour yet, although typical for a 3rd time mom). We talked about the way things were going and I am sure she felt my frustration because an hour after that appointment I received a call from my second midwife who suggested that if we wanted to get this show on the road that we could meet at the hospital and do some "things". These things included, more stretch and sweeps, and nipple stimulation. I really wanted to have D2 and I was getting tired of these pre-labour contractions. I was ready to do anything. We met our midwife, Teresa, at the hospital at 4pm.

She checked me and I was still at 4cm dilated. The lack of progress had me frustrated. We moved from the Triage room to the pre-labour room and started using the breast pump. Five minutes of pumping followed by 10 minutes of walking, repeat, over and over. I did this for 6 hours. It worked in that I was now having contractions that were 5 minutes apart and the intensity had increased quite a bit. At the 4 hour mark (8pm) Theresa checked me and I was at 6cm, which had me dilated enough to be upgraded to an actual birthing room. I joked that it was like being upgraded from coach to first class. I continued to pump for another 2 hours. At 10pm we took a break from the pump to see if things could continue on their own. I was still only 6 cm dilated (Oh I wasn't impressed) but my contractions remained 4-5 minute apart without the pump to stimulate them. D2 was presenting lower and my cervix had continued to efface.

I continued to pump once or twice an hour over the next few hours. My nipples were very sore and I was really not enjoying the process (not that I enjoyed it the 6 hours before either, but...). My contractions were very strong but had had only come to be 3 to 4 minutes apart. I seemed stuck. At 12:30 Theresa checked me again, still 6cm dilated. Again D2 was lower down and my cervix was very thin. We discussed that I could not get induced because of my previous C-section and that if things didn't start moving on their own the only outcome would be another C. This made me more determined to get things moving. Theresa broke my water and I started back on the breast pump.

I guess now is a good time to mention that I had tested positive for GBS (Group B Strep). The normal course of action is to administer IV antibiotics during the labour. I was not keen on taking the antibiotics and with the absence of any secondary risk factors I chose not to take the drugs. This is why we waited so long to break my water. The amniotic sac is what was protecting my baby from this infection and I had requested that it only be broken as a last resort. At this point, I considered it a good time to break the water since if things didn't progress in the next few hours I would be in surgery anyhow.

by 1:30 I was still only 6cm dilated. Teresa suggested I take a shower and that I try doing squats while I was in there. At this point I would have attempted a head stand if she told me it would help. Before I went into the shower she asked me if there was any reason why I thought my labour wasn't progressing. Maybe a mental block, some thoughts that could be stalling things. I went into the shower and dutifully did the squats between contractions. I was in there for about 30 minutes. All of a sudden it came to me. I had been increasingly frustrated and agitated of the last few days. The sheer number of contractions I had endured with such little progress had me very unhappy. This had not been the labour I had envisioned for myself, it was not the "perfect" labour I had wanted. That fact had me tense. I called for Kevin, asked him to help me out of the shower and proceeded to discuss my "expectations" with Teresa. She reassured me that this type of labour was normal, it was very common and that it was perfectly perfect! Maybe it hadn't been the type of labour I had experienced with my previous children, but it was perfect in its own way. I immediately felt better after getting these thoughts out of my head.

After the shower my legs were very tired. I sat down on a rocking chair and rocked through each contraction. Between contractions I zoned out, it felt like falling asleep although I think it was just the complete clearing of my mind. My brain was empty. After about 20 minutes on the rocking chair Kevin approached me and asked me to start walking again. I was not aware that Teresa had gone to another room to assist another midwife. We started to walk and no more than 3 steps away I was rocked with a massive contraction the likes of which i had yet to feel. As the pain ebbed Kevin encouraged me to start walking again. I tried to take a step but could not. The contraction had ebbed but had not stopped. I told Kevin I thought I was in transition. He still asked me to walk, he was attempting to encourage me with a pep talk, I asked him to SHUT UP. Yes I had progressed to the point of profanity. My sister commented that she knew things were moving forward when I began to swear during the contractions. Previous to this I had been moaning but not talking or swearing.

After about 15 minutes of this I felt like I would collapse. I told Kevin that I could not walk or stand anymore and had to sit. He tried to talk me out of it, but I insisted. I sat on the rocking chair and immediately my contraction dissolved. I was watching the clock and 2 minutes passed. In my mind I was very angry at myself for sitting down, I thought I had effectively shut down my labour. Just then I felt a contraction and the downward pressure of D2's head had me scared that he would come out while I was sitting there. Now you have to remember that my midwife was not in the room. I told Kevin and my sister that I felt like pushing. Right away they started to run around the room looking for their cel phone to call Teresa. I was telling them to press the call button on the bed. They insisted that Teresa had told them to page her and punch in 911 as the phone number. I kept yelling at them to press the call button. We had gone from 0-100mph and I wanted my midwife here NOW.

She arrived and suggested that I get up on all 4's on the bed. She helped me up onto the bed. Half way there I was rocked by my 2nd contraction. The feeling to push was uncontrollable. I had never felt anything like it. Once I was on all 4's Teresa moved over to the other side of the room to get her gloves and other supplies. My 3rd contraction started while she was over there, I pushed and right away felt that intense burning sensation. I started screaming that it burned and that I felt I couldn't do this!!!! My sister yelled at me that she could see his head and Kevin and Theresa encouraged me to keep pushing. One push and his head came flying out. Teresa barely had time to put on her gloves to catch it. Next contraction I pushed and his whole body came out. It was so fast I was in shock. Teresa slipped D2 under me so I could see him and for a good 20 seconds I just stared at him. I couldn't beleive he had arrived so quickly. With D I had pushed for 2.5 hours. How could I have managed to get this child out in two pushes. It was amazing to me.

I have experienced birth with an epidural, birth by cesarean, but nothing was like the natural birth I experienced with D2. The sensation of moving through each stage, of rolling with each contraction and wanting, truly wanting to push. It was out of this world. I have never experienced anything so primal, natural and so powerful. Don't get me wrong, it hurt, it hurt like nothing I have ever felt before. I was out of control, my body knew what it had to do and it did it. I just had to relax my mind to free my body to do its work. It is by far the most intense and amazing experience I have ever had.

When one door closes

Today is my first day as a solo parent and I couldn't be happier!

You may recall that 2 months ago my husband was laid off work. I was very upset. It was 3 weeks from my due date, we pulled the kids out of day care and started to plan for what to do if his stretch of unemployment went on too long. We couldn't live indefinitely on my maternity benefits alone. My work doesn't top up and the govt only portion (as generous as it is, don't get me wrong) would not be enough to keep our household running for long.

As the title of my post says, when one door closes another opens, and it turns out this new door is opening to a much better opportunity. One that would have never presented itself if Kevin had remained at his previous job. Not to mention having him home with me the last 5 weeks was the most amazing blessing. I know for a fact that having him here was integral in me getting the nursing established. With all the trouble and pain I had, I may not have been able to handle it if I had also had to managed the kids schedules and meals. He did it all and I just focused on myself and my baby. It was amazing.

At first I was very angry at the company that laid Kevin off, now I am thinking a thank you note might be in order!

round 2

During my appointment with my family doctor I mentioned the script I had for the "All Purpose Nipple Cream". He said he would be glad to sign it for me.

This morning I headed over to THE pharmacy (and yes Giselle, I am going to the pharmacy you mentioned in your comment). When I handed over the script the woman at the counter said, oh we still have your cream. Let me go get it. I was soooo happy. Turns out they had made it after all, they just wouldn't release it to me (I was happy, but upset at the same time, it was ready and they just wouldn't give it to me... UGH). So she walks over to the dispensing bin and another woman at the back of the counter walks over to her and starts to whisper in her ear. She gets this distressed look on her face. They go over to the man who is behind the counter and they all talk in whispers. My heart rate is starting to go up. They come over and tell me that they had canceled my order and have given MY cream to another woman who came in. They will have to make up some more and it won't be ready till... wait for it... TUESDAY! Some other woman managed to get MY HER cream right away, without even waiting. The Man asked me if I had canceled my order, and I responded no (because I hadn't). They all looked very uncomfortable.

They asked me if I still wanted the cream. My answer was OF COURSE, I need it. And they said, come back Tuesday. Just as I was walking out the Man who was behind the counter approached me. He said to me "You must really need this cream, let me try and put a rush on it. Call us at 4pm on Monday to see if it is ready". I was very grateful that he is doing this for me. I think with all the run around I have been getting I deserve a bit of a break.

I didn't kick up a fuss (I am not very good at that sort of thing) but then if I had tried to I think the only thing I would have done is broke down crying like a baby. I am sure that would have made them plenty uncomfortable. Kevin said he is going to pick up the prescription and talk to them. I am fine with that.

This is hard

Since my last post things have not gone as smoothly as I would like. I managed to get a Candida infection in my milk ducts. If you have ever had this infection you know what it feels like. Like hundreds of hot needles are being stabbed into your nipple while your child nurses. It started on my left then my right. I have been following Dr Newman's protocol of Grapefruit seed extract pills and pro-biotics. My midwife had given me a script for his "All Purpose Nipple Cream" and I brought it to the compounding pharmacy last Thursday to get filled. They said it would be ready yesterday (Tuesday) but when I arrived they told me they could not fill it because the midwife had not filled out the prescription properly. I just about burst into tears right there (I managed to hold it together till I got to the van). They had called me but I had already left to go pick up the prescription so I missed the call. I am pretty furious with them. If they needed 4 days to fill the dam prescription why did they wait till 3pm on the last day to even look at it.

I debated on going to my midwife to get the prescription sorted but then I knew I would have to wait a few more days before the pharmacy would have the cream ready. So I gave up and made an appointment with my family doctor to get a prescription for Nystatin. Originally I had been trying to avoid any anti-fungal creams but I am desperate. The bad pain is gone but it still hurts to nurse which causes me to not want to nurse (but I do, don't worry) and I think it is causing D2 to have trouble latching (he has thrush, I got some Nystatin for him as well). He has been cluster feeding the last few days and at the end my breasts are in so much pain it is unreal. I know you can all relate. Please bear with me as I vent. I truly hope this cream sorts everything out.

One week

This week has been so amazing, so exhausting, so unexpectedly difficult yet so natural at the same time.

I am exhausted, no surprise there. D2 nurses for hours at a time. He will nurse, fall asleep, sleep for a few minutes wake to nurse some more. We have had clusters of this type of feeding that have gone on for 6 hours. My posterior is so sore from sitting so much. My breasts are sore and working hard to keep up with this hungry little fella. A few nights I passed him to Kevin so that he could give him a bit of formula because I was pretty much dry. Last night was the first night that I was able to get through without a formula top up and I am so happy. He is a relentless feeder but it is accomplishing the goal. My milk supply is getting there. I assume I have a few more weeks of this crazy schedule then I hope things can settle down a bit. Question to Moms who have nursed, is this true? How does this work? I have never managed to exclusively nurse a child before so I have no idea what to expect.

I must go do a load of laundry and relax while D2 naps. Happy New Year to all of you. I hope 2010 is a safe, healthy and wonderful year for all of us! Hugs!

Quick update

Was I crazy to think that I would have time to write my birth story so soon? Appears so. In lieu of that I drop you a quick update to say we are doing great, amazingly so if you know my past with things like nursing and uncontrollable crying (me and baby). This time around my breasts have decided to go along with the plan, and I am incredibly grateful about that. Of course I am tired, the cluster feeding is pretty intense, but we are well on our way to having my full milk in. It is like a dream come true for me.

I had to share this crazy cute photo of him where he looks like he is smiling. Yes, the love we have for our children is such an amazing thing. I could cry just looking at this photo.

Thanks to you all for the support. It is appreciate more than you know.

Welcome to the world

He is here. The birth story is an interesting one and I plan on writing it tomorrow while I rest in bed. It looks like I will be home resting for Christmas. Midwifes orders.

Without further ado I introduce D2. Born at 3:18 am on Dec 24th. We came home after the birth and I am so happy we did. Much more comfortable in my bed. Here are the photos. Merry Christmas to all of you. Ours certainly is going to be a special one!