The city I live in now is not the city I grew up in. I moved here 15 years ago to find work. Like most of my contemporaries, there were very few opportunities in our blue collar town. It was work in a mill, mall or call centre - or move away. I didn't move far away but Ottawa and my home town are so different they may as well be on different planets.
Often when I go back to visit my mom I get nostalgic. Just driving up to the city limits gives me a feeling of comfort. This is the town I grew up in. I have walked the streets, spent time with friends, went to schools and worked part time jobs. I know all the nooks and it feels like slipping into a well worn glove. I often think of uprooting the family and moving back there. It would be a huge transition but as I grow older I long for the comfort and familiarity that comes with my home town.
Last week we were driving home from visiting my mom. It was late and D (8yo) was awake and chatting with me. As we pulled into our neighbourhood he exclaimed "Oh, it is so nice to be home!". That is when it dawned on me. D feels the same way about our little corner of Ottawa that I feel about my home town. It feels comfortable and familiar to him. His friends are here, his school is here. He knows the nooks and crannies. It is his home.
I realized that I cannot in good conscience take him away from a place that makes him feel so good. He deserves to feel as comfortable in his neighbourhood as I did when I was growing up. I will still feel nostalgic when I go visit my mom, but I will no longer seriously consider moving back there. From now on my home is where my kids feel comfortable. Just knowing that makes me feel better already.
11 comments:
What an amazing post. I've never really thought about that, that the neighbourhood we live in now (which I want to move from) is what the boys consider home, they don't know any different. Makes you reall think about things.
I love the way you wrote this piece!
My husband always laughs at the different contexts in which I use the word home. I call my hometown home even though I moved away from it in my 20's, and my parents moved from there a few years later. Sometimes when we go to visit my parents I say I'm going home to see them, even though I've never actually lived in the town they live in now. And of course I call our own house we share with the kids home.
What a sweet post Chantal.
I don't have the same nostalgia for my home town (Brampton ON) as you do. I liked it well enough when I was growing up, but Ottawa is, just, better in my view. LOL.
This is my home, and there can be no other!
I fully understand where you are coming from. I left my home town (North Bay) when I was 20. Lived in different cities and towns as a military wife until coming to Ottawa from Petawawa as a single Mom in 1994 to find work. Lived in Ottawa for 14 years, it was the longest place I'd lived in since leaving North Bay. Every time I go home to visit family still in "the Bay" I have to go do a drive-by to see the house I was raised in. Mom & Dad have passed but the memories haven't. Retired to the country in Perth in 2008 and finally feel as if I AM home. I never liked uprooting my kids with every posting but we learned that home is where you hang your heart.
You know, this is really profound. So often I wonder if a different place would be better for my kids. Having been moved away from my whole life when I was 10 gives me pause though. It was definitely a difficult time in my life.
This is very true. It was a weird moment when I realized that my kids' home town and mine would never be the same. My childhood stories and their will be about difference places and things.
aww you are so right! We live far far from where we grew up but this is home to our children and we may never ever leave this place. Funny how it works out!
I looooooved this post, Chantal. My hometown is the same (very industrial, very factory-based) and I feel exactly the same way when I go home. Your post made me realize that my kids think of our own home that way - both comforting and freaking me out a bit.
This post was so lovely, I hope you will read it at Blog Out Loud!
Oh my sweet child...home is where the heart is and you say it so beautifully! You have made a beautiful home for you and your family but I will always be happy when you come 'home' to visit.
xoxox Mom
What a lovely post Chantal! I can totally relate, I feel exactly the same about my own home town (which, I'm fortunate to say, is where I'm raising my family). It's just so comfortable, stress free. I remember when I lived in the city and would go home to visit my parents on the weekends I would just get this sense of happiness wash over me, simplicity that came from feeling part of the community, loving it. But as you so nicely put, home really is where our family is and that counts too.
I love this post. Love it.
So often, I step back and look at what we've been fortunate enough to create for our kids already--in some ways replicating some things that were special to me (a neighborhood gang, tight connections all around us). The place may be different, but the experience is still unique to our children.
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