The city I live in now is not the city I grew up in. I moved here 15 years ago to find work. Like most of my contemporaries, there were very few opportunities in our blue collar town. It was work in a mill, mall or call centre - or move away. I didn't move far away but Ottawa and my home town are so different they may as well be on different planets.
Often when I go back to visit my mom I get nostalgic. Just driving up to the city limits gives me a feeling of comfort. This is the town I grew up in. I have walked the streets, spent time with friends, went to schools and worked part time jobs. I know all the nooks and it feels like slipping into a well worn glove. I often think of uprooting the family and moving back there. It would be a huge transition but as I grow older I long for the comfort and familiarity that comes with my home town.
Last week we were driving home from visiting my mom. It was late and D (8yo) was awake and chatting with me. As we pulled into our neighbourhood he exclaimed "Oh, it is so nice to be home!". That is when it dawned on me. D feels the same way about our little corner of Ottawa that I feel about my home town. It feels comfortable and familiar to him. His friends are here, his school is here. He knows the nooks and crannies. It is his home.
I realized that I cannot in good conscience take him away from a place that makes him feel so good. He deserves to feel as comfortable in his neighbourhood as I did when I was growing up. I will still feel nostalgic when I go visit my mom, but I will no longer seriously consider moving back there. From now on my home is where my kids feel comfortable. Just knowing that makes me feel better already.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Hoarders
This post is not what you would expect. Yes I admit I have a clutter problem. Yes I have had a hard time getting rid of stuff, especially if it was gifted to me. But I am working on myself and on my clutter problem. I thought it was for me, for my own sanity, but now I see it is even more important. I need to conquer my clutter problem to save my child.
My son is a hoarder.
It is hard for me to say that, it is hard for me to admit it. But in the last few weeks I have witnessed things that prove to me that if I don't nip this problem in the bud, my child will grow up to have a problem with hoarding.
Here are a few examples:
Today, while giving him his bath he noticed a piece of fluff floating in the water. I told him to leave it alone, that it would go down the drain with the water. He got visibly upset and proceeded to RESCUE the fluff. He insisted that it was HIS fluff and that it was not to go down the drain. When I tried to throw it in the garbage he got very angry at me.
Last weeks recycling pickup was paper. As happens most weeks the wind had picked up some papers and blown them around the neighbourhood. One piece had found a home in our bush. I asked him to pass it to me so I could put it in our recycling bin. He picked up the paper, hugged it and proclaimed it HIS FAVOURITE piece of paper. When I told him I was going to put it in the recycling he got very upset with me and attempted to make me promise that I would do no such thing. I made no such promise and did recycle the paper once he was off playing with friends and no longer paying attention to me.
A few weeks ago I discovered a broken plastic hanger at the base of his closet. I picked it up and placed it in the bathroom garbage. He discovered it and came running to me, hanger in hand, asking WHY had I thrown out HIS FAVOURITE hanger. When I explained to him that it was broken and no longer useful, well, I may as well have told him I was flushing his gold fish! I discarded the hanger once he was off playing.
This is the stuff hoarders are made of. They have houses full of stuff that is useless and broken! I don't even know where to begin. I know that secretly throwing out these things will not help the problem, but he is 5. I can't reason with a 5 year old. Its an epic battle, every time. What do I do!?!?!?!
My son is a hoarder.
It is hard for me to say that, it is hard for me to admit it. But in the last few weeks I have witnessed things that prove to me that if I don't nip this problem in the bud, my child will grow up to have a problem with hoarding.
Here are a few examples:
Today, while giving him his bath he noticed a piece of fluff floating in the water. I told him to leave it alone, that it would go down the drain with the water. He got visibly upset and proceeded to RESCUE the fluff. He insisted that it was HIS fluff and that it was not to go down the drain. When I tried to throw it in the garbage he got very angry at me.
Last weeks recycling pickup was paper. As happens most weeks the wind had picked up some papers and blown them around the neighbourhood. One piece had found a home in our bush. I asked him to pass it to me so I could put it in our recycling bin. He picked up the paper, hugged it and proclaimed it HIS FAVOURITE piece of paper. When I told him I was going to put it in the recycling he got very upset with me and attempted to make me promise that I would do no such thing. I made no such promise and did recycle the paper once he was off playing with friends and no longer paying attention to me.
A few weeks ago I discovered a broken plastic hanger at the base of his closet. I picked it up and placed it in the bathroom garbage. He discovered it and came running to me, hanger in hand, asking WHY had I thrown out HIS FAVOURITE hanger. When I explained to him that it was broken and no longer useful, well, I may as well have told him I was flushing his gold fish! I discarded the hanger once he was off playing.
This is the stuff hoarders are made of. They have houses full of stuff that is useless and broken! I don't even know where to begin. I know that secretly throwing out these things will not help the problem, but he is 5. I can't reason with a 5 year old. Its an epic battle, every time. What do I do!?!?!?!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
If you had told me...
This year I turn 38.
I find this number somewhat amazing. Not that I didn't expect to ever turn 38. I fully expect to live to be 100, so 38 is not even half way there. But there are a lot of things that have happened in the last year that I would never have expected.
If you had grabbed me at 28 and told me what my life would be like today, I would have scoffed at you.
- I have a 3 month old infant, my 3rd child - I expected to be done having children by 35
- I live in a suburban town house - I expected that I would live in a century home in a quaint little town
- I have 3 sons - I always expected to have a daughter
- That I would be entering my 15th year of working for the same company - I distinctly remember saying that if I still worked there in 2000 someone should shoot me :)
- That I am happier than I have ever been - I didn't understand how happy I would be having a family. No matter how hard it can be, I wouldn't change any of it.
Amazingly, I am a healthier, happier person at 38 than I was at 28. I don't know if I can attribute that to having children but I do know that I am much more physically fit now. I eat better and I exercise a lot more. I think I may even weigh less than I did at 28. Only by about 5 pounds, but still. I often think about digging out my wedding dress to try on. To see how it would look on me today.
I am happy to be 38, I am happy about where my life has taken me and I am looking forward ready to enjoy all that will come!
I find this number somewhat amazing. Not that I didn't expect to ever turn 38. I fully expect to live to be 100, so 38 is not even half way there. But there are a lot of things that have happened in the last year that I would never have expected.
If you had grabbed me at 28 and told me what my life would be like today, I would have scoffed at you.
- I have a 3 month old infant, my 3rd child - I expected to be done having children by 35
- I live in a suburban town house - I expected that I would live in a century home in a quaint little town
- I have 3 sons - I always expected to have a daughter
- That I would be entering my 15th year of working for the same company - I distinctly remember saying that if I still worked there in 2000 someone should shoot me :)
- That I am happier than I have ever been - I didn't understand how happy I would be having a family. No matter how hard it can be, I wouldn't change any of it.
Amazingly, I am a healthier, happier person at 38 than I was at 28. I don't know if I can attribute that to having children but I do know that I am much more physically fit now. I eat better and I exercise a lot more. I think I may even weigh less than I did at 28. Only by about 5 pounds, but still. I often think about digging out my wedding dress to try on. To see how it would look on me today.
I am happy to be 38, I am happy about where my life has taken me and I am looking forward ready to enjoy all that will come!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
You're glad you don't live at my house
This week has been one of the hardest weeks I have endured as a parent so far. On Saturday night M came down with the stomach flu, in the middle of the night, in his bed. That, I have had to deal with before. Kevin and I have our roles worked out. One of us takes care of the child while the other quickly changes the bed and starts the load of laundry. We set up a bucket next to the bed and M managed to be sick in it 3 times. We cleaned everything up. Disinfected. You know the drill. It has worked for us for the 8 years we have had kids. Till this week. This week we weren't dealing with a run of the mill stomach flu, we were dealing with the Granddaddy of 'em all, the Norwalk virus. I had no idea!
It was like a scene from a horror movie. Monday afternoon, D came home from school at 1pm and is throwing up by 2. Kevin came home from work at 3pm and is throwing up by 4. I had a knot in my stomach and spent an hour telling myself it was just nerves, I am freaking out that the baby might get sick. By 6 pm I had joined the ranks of the sick. It isn't pretty. Other than the baby the only one not sick is M. I call my in-laws to come and get him. They take him and keep him till the next evening (thank goodness for that). I had set up in D2's room and told Kevin and D to stay out. I hoped that if he only had contact with me it would lessen his chances of getting sick. I spent 6 hours nursing D2 and throwing up. It was horrible. I would not wish this on my worse enemy. By midnight I was done. I was so dehydrated I could barely walk and I couldn't lift D2. Thankfully he managed to stay in the same diaper all night with no leaks. Small miracle.
To add insult to injury at around midnight that night the city started cleaning our street. Those street cleaning machines are REALLY FREAKING LOUD and it felt like they parked outside D2's window for HOURS! I barely slept all night between the street cleaning, nursing and just feeling like crap. The next day D2 was a dream napper and gave me a 2 hour nap in the morning and another in the afternoon. If only our neighbours weren't getting their roof done at the same time! We did sleep, but it wasn't the restful slumber we had hoped for. All 4 of us spent Tuesday in bed or doing laundry. Thankfully our new washer has a sanitize option on it so we sanitized all our sheets, towels and clothing we had been wearing. I am not usually a harsh cleaner sort of gal, but we pulled out the Mr Clean and Lysol and went over every surface. I don't EVER want to run into this virus again.
It is Friday and I finally feel somewhat like normal again. The dehydration was the worse of it and it was hard to get on top of it while nursing D2. I am glad that he didn't get sick. I don't even want to think about it. Boy am I glad this week is over, and we can focus on a warm and fun long weekend. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... or some crap like that right... oh bullocks it was just horrible!
Happy Easter to everyone. Have a safe, fun and healthy weekend!
It was like a scene from a horror movie. Monday afternoon, D came home from school at 1pm and is throwing up by 2. Kevin came home from work at 3pm and is throwing up by 4. I had a knot in my stomach and spent an hour telling myself it was just nerves, I am freaking out that the baby might get sick. By 6 pm I had joined the ranks of the sick. It isn't pretty. Other than the baby the only one not sick is M. I call my in-laws to come and get him. They take him and keep him till the next evening (thank goodness for that). I had set up in D2's room and told Kevin and D to stay out. I hoped that if he only had contact with me it would lessen his chances of getting sick. I spent 6 hours nursing D2 and throwing up. It was horrible. I would not wish this on my worse enemy. By midnight I was done. I was so dehydrated I could barely walk and I couldn't lift D2. Thankfully he managed to stay in the same diaper all night with no leaks. Small miracle.
To add insult to injury at around midnight that night the city started cleaning our street. Those street cleaning machines are REALLY FREAKING LOUD and it felt like they parked outside D2's window for HOURS! I barely slept all night between the street cleaning, nursing and just feeling like crap. The next day D2 was a dream napper and gave me a 2 hour nap in the morning and another in the afternoon. If only our neighbours weren't getting their roof done at the same time! We did sleep, but it wasn't the restful slumber we had hoped for. All 4 of us spent Tuesday in bed or doing laundry. Thankfully our new washer has a sanitize option on it so we sanitized all our sheets, towels and clothing we had been wearing. I am not usually a harsh cleaner sort of gal, but we pulled out the Mr Clean and Lysol and went over every surface. I don't EVER want to run into this virus again.
It is Friday and I finally feel somewhat like normal again. The dehydration was the worse of it and it was hard to get on top of it while nursing D2. I am glad that he didn't get sick. I don't even want to think about it. Boy am I glad this week is over, and we can focus on a warm and fun long weekend. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... or some crap like that right... oh bullocks it was just horrible!
Happy Easter to everyone. Have a safe, fun and healthy weekend!
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