I had forgotten how time consuming it is to track everything you eat. Eye opening and time consuming! I found this week a challenge, mostly because I didn't shop with eating healthy in mind. When I was hungry I had to search for snacking alternatives. Since I am nursing I didn't let myself starve, not that I would anyhow, I seriously LOVE eating.
I used Myfitnesspal religiously all week and I liked it. It helped me keep track of what I was doing. Due to the nursing i am not worrying if I go over on calories or fat. This tool is helping me be accountable to me. If I eat a granola bar and an hour later feel like cookies I can look at what I have already eaten and rationalize to myself that a cookie isn't the best choice. So far it is working for me.
I had one seriously bad day. Two things conspired to make it a bad food day.
1. Festival of Pie: On the weekend M decided that he wanted us to have a pie making contest in which he would judge and chose a winner. I made an apple blueberry pie. Kevin made a chocolate pudding pie with graham cracker crust.
2. Due to scheduling conflicts I let my husband go visit his best friend (who was visiting from England and leaving the next day to go back) instead of going to the Post BlogHer get together. I spent the evening reading @spidergrl's tweets and drowing my sorrows in pie, 2 large pieces of pie.
Oh yes, my calorie count for that day was over by more than 500 and my fat had an extra 47 grams... but dam that pie was good! And I was sad, that evening sounded like so much fun!!! :(
I had spend Tuesday walking up and down hill for the better part of 6 hours at Storyland. So the way I see it, it all balances out...
The final tabulation for week one has me very happy. I am down 2lbs.
Thanks Losing it in Ottawa ladies for letting tag along on this journey. It feels good!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
the look
I look over to him, tired and frustrated. It is probably the 20th time I have asked him to stop jumping. We are in line at IKEA and there are many people around. I need him to relax just long enough to get us through this line, pay for our things and get out.
He is 5. He expends more energy in 5 minutes than I do all day. He is a busy, busy boy. He is a challenge. Every day he challenges me, and he is exhausting.
In the line ahead of us there are two women. I can see them look back over their shoulders as I ask my boy to, please stop jumping, for the 12th time. They exchange a look, that look. The look that says "Thank GOD he isn't my boy" or "THAT is why I don't have kids". And it makes me sad. Sad for them, sad for me and especially sad for him.
Because they don't know him. They don't know what a wonderful child he is. How loving he is towards his family. How last night when his brother went off for a short bike ride he insisted on giving him a goodbye hug and kiss. How he talks to me about everything. How he asks the most adorable questions and if he doesn't like my answer insists on making up his own adorable answers instead. How he speaks with this strange accent that I though he would have outgrown by now but so far he hasn't (and I love that). How much I love him, even when I am tired and frustrated and exhausted. I still love him. And I know it isn't their job to love him. He isn't their child. But I don't want him to look at him like THAT either.
He is 5. He expends more energy in 5 minutes than I do all day. He is a busy, busy boy. He is a challenge. Every day he challenges me, and he is exhausting.
In the line ahead of us there are two women. I can see them look back over their shoulders as I ask my boy to, please stop jumping, for the 12th time. They exchange a look, that look. The look that says "Thank GOD he isn't my boy" or "THAT is why I don't have kids". And it makes me sad. Sad for them, sad for me and especially sad for him.
Because they don't know him. They don't know what a wonderful child he is. How loving he is towards his family. How last night when his brother went off for a short bike ride he insisted on giving him a goodbye hug and kiss. How he talks to me about everything. How he asks the most adorable questions and if he doesn't like my answer insists on making up his own adorable answers instead. How he speaks with this strange accent that I though he would have outgrown by now but so far he hasn't (and I love that). How much I love him, even when I am tired and frustrated and exhausted. I still love him. And I know it isn't their job to love him. He isn't their child. But I don't want him to look at him like THAT either.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Losing it
And it's not what you think.
I have met some wonderful creative women in the last 6 months. A few of them have started a new web site called Losing it in Ottawa. It is the story of 6 women and their journey over the next 8 weeks to lose weight and be more fit. I can relate to their stories.
I may not be the heaviest I have ever been, but I have been there. All my life I struggled with my body image. I was never fat but I thought I was, and really, that is all that matters. When I was 13 and my friends all weighed 80 pounds I weighed 110. When I was in college and they all weighed 110 I weighed 130. It isn't a big deal I know, but in my mind I was always the big girl. The biggest of all my friends. The fat one. That image sticks with me to this day. No matter how hard I try to ignore it.
When I was pregnant for D I clocked in at 210. Along with weight gain I swelled a lot and I had to stop wearing my wedding ring. After I gave birth to D I settled at 185. I was at that weight for over a year. I wanted to be able to wear my wedding ring again. I decided to call the jeweler who made our rings (our rings were made by a local jewelery designer). I asked him about having the ring made bigger. He warned me against it. It has an intricate design on it and he felt it would not hold up to being enlarged. I was so upset. Not upset at him, but upset with myself. Why had I let myself get so big, I felt terrible about myself and I was so unhealthy. Of course this sadness just fueled my eating. Instead of taking this as my wake up call I let my habits get worse. I decided to buy clothing that fit "me" and got rid of all the clothing I couldn't wear anymore. I think dropping off the bag of perfectly good clothing at the good will bin was the bottom of the barrel for me. I had bought some very nice +size clothing but i hated them all. I didn't want to wear these clothes. I wanted to lose the weight.
I joined Weight Watchers and a gym. A coworker came to the gym with me at lunch 3 times a week. Over the course of a year I dropped 40 pounds. I felt great, I was so fit, and I weighed 15 pounds less than I did when I got married! Then I got pregnant for M. I had a wonderful pregnancy and only put on 35 pounds. But after the pregnancy I couldn't get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I tried WW but the new leader just didn't motivate me like the previous one did. I got back to the gym, but without watching what I ate I wasn't able to lose like i wanted. The year before I had D2 I started jogging and even go to the point where I could run 5K without stopping, but the weight never budged.
Now I have had my 3rd pregnancy. Maybe it is just luck, stress, or maybe breastfeeding but I managed to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight fairly easily. I wanted to get back to exercising but D2 had other ideas. The first few months were near constant nursing, now he is older the nursing isn't as intense but now I have all 3 boys home and I can't just go for a run when I want. The heat and humidity of this summer have also had me opting for the shade instead of getting out there and just doing it. I have many excuses in my pocket for why I am not exercising or eating right: no time to plan, no time to cook, wait till the boys are back in school, I can't leave D2 to go the gym... the list goes on. None of these are very good reasons.
The Losing it in Ottawa group are tracking over 8 weeks. So these are my measurements and my goal. I want to lose 10 pounds over the eight weeks. I want to get back to jogging.
My measurements are:
Waist = 38" (danger zone according to heart and stroke)
Hips = 46.2"
Thigh = 23"
Weight = 165
BMI = 28.3 (overweight)
I have never taken my measurements before, I am hoping they will tell a more accurate tale than just tracking my (fingers crossed) weight loss. I have also signed up for myfitnesspal. My profile name is twohandsfull if you want to add me as a friend. Lets do this together!
Thanks to all the ladies at Losing it in Ottawa! I really needed this kick in the butt!
I have met some wonderful creative women in the last 6 months. A few of them have started a new web site called Losing it in Ottawa. It is the story of 6 women and their journey over the next 8 weeks to lose weight and be more fit. I can relate to their stories.
I may not be the heaviest I have ever been, but I have been there. All my life I struggled with my body image. I was never fat but I thought I was, and really, that is all that matters. When I was 13 and my friends all weighed 80 pounds I weighed 110. When I was in college and they all weighed 110 I weighed 130. It isn't a big deal I know, but in my mind I was always the big girl. The biggest of all my friends. The fat one. That image sticks with me to this day. No matter how hard I try to ignore it.
When I was pregnant for D I clocked in at 210. Along with weight gain I swelled a lot and I had to stop wearing my wedding ring. After I gave birth to D I settled at 185. I was at that weight for over a year. I wanted to be able to wear my wedding ring again. I decided to call the jeweler who made our rings (our rings were made by a local jewelery designer). I asked him about having the ring made bigger. He warned me against it. It has an intricate design on it and he felt it would not hold up to being enlarged. I was so upset. Not upset at him, but upset with myself. Why had I let myself get so big, I felt terrible about myself and I was so unhealthy. Of course this sadness just fueled my eating. Instead of taking this as my wake up call I let my habits get worse. I decided to buy clothing that fit "me" and got rid of all the clothing I couldn't wear anymore. I think dropping off the bag of perfectly good clothing at the good will bin was the bottom of the barrel for me. I had bought some very nice +size clothing but i hated them all. I didn't want to wear these clothes. I wanted to lose the weight.
I joined Weight Watchers and a gym. A coworker came to the gym with me at lunch 3 times a week. Over the course of a year I dropped 40 pounds. I felt great, I was so fit, and I weighed 15 pounds less than I did when I got married! Then I got pregnant for M. I had a wonderful pregnancy and only put on 35 pounds. But after the pregnancy I couldn't get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I tried WW but the new leader just didn't motivate me like the previous one did. I got back to the gym, but without watching what I ate I wasn't able to lose like i wanted. The year before I had D2 I started jogging and even go to the point where I could run 5K without stopping, but the weight never budged.
Now I have had my 3rd pregnancy. Maybe it is just luck, stress, or maybe breastfeeding but I managed to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight fairly easily. I wanted to get back to exercising but D2 had other ideas. The first few months were near constant nursing, now he is older the nursing isn't as intense but now I have all 3 boys home and I can't just go for a run when I want. The heat and humidity of this summer have also had me opting for the shade instead of getting out there and just doing it. I have many excuses in my pocket for why I am not exercising or eating right: no time to plan, no time to cook, wait till the boys are back in school, I can't leave D2 to go the gym... the list goes on. None of these are very good reasons.
The Losing it in Ottawa group are tracking over 8 weeks. So these are my measurements and my goal. I want to lose 10 pounds over the eight weeks. I want to get back to jogging.
My measurements are:
Waist = 38" (danger zone according to heart and stroke)
Hips = 46.2"
Thigh = 23"
Weight = 165
BMI = 28.3 (overweight)
I have never taken my measurements before, I am hoping they will tell a more accurate tale than just tracking my (fingers crossed) weight loss. I have also signed up for myfitnesspal. My profile name is twohandsfull if you want to add me as a friend. Lets do this together!
Thanks to all the ladies at Losing it in Ottawa! I really needed this kick in the butt!
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