Tackling the mess

I couldn't take it anymore. It was stressing me out. It was stressing my husband out. And when he gets stressed I overcompensate by pretending I am not stressed, which is STRESSFUL. It is a vicious cycle. We were snapping and nagging at each other. So I put it out there. Lets take 2 days (I would rather a whole week but I can't swing it with work till after Christmas) and purge. We will both stay home and work all day. Go through bins and get rid of junky old toys. Get rid of all the extra suffies. Put all the DVDs and video games back in their cases. Shred/recycle old papers. Organize our filing system. Work towards and agree on an ongoing action plan to keep things in order after we are done.

Well day 1 is done and it was great. We focused on the basement. After we were done we had all the toys organized, 4 medium sized garbage bags full of crap, one large box of toys to donate (already gone) and another box of toys for me to organize for the consignment shop. It feels good. I am able to relax tonight. Usually I am jumpy in the evenings. I want to relax but I feel guilty and stressed out. It isn't relaxing to be surrounded by a mess of toys. Now, I can breath. I watched a movie without feeling bad about it. The kids took toys out to play with but since things are organized we were able to put everything away in a matter of minutes. LOVE IT.

Tomorrow we tackle the main floor living room, dining room, entry and if we have time the basement storage area. I definitely see another two days off out my future. We needed this. For our sanity.

Gentle giant

Today we went shopping for winter boots for my 10yo. We had his feet measured before we started just to be sure of his size. I already knew his size but I keep hoping the previous person was wrong.

My 10yo wears size 8 mens. On a practical front it is hard because mens shoes are far more expensive than children's. And on the emotional level I can't get over my son having grown up so fast. He isn't taller than me yet but I expect he will catch me if not surpass me in the coming year.

He is my first born, my baby, and he can pick me up and carry me across a room. My head knew this time would come. My heart wanted it to take a bit longer. Thankfully he is still my loving caring D who isn't afraid to hold my hand or kiss me goodbye at the school kiss and ride. I cherish every moment I have to enjoy my gentle giant.

Fail

So I failed on NaBloPoMo. I completely spaced on writing yesterday and didn't even think about it until this morning. I have to admit I am a bit disappointed but it isn't as if I spent the day sitting on my butt eating bon bons. It was a very busy day and I forgot. Oh well. I will continue on from now till the end. I won't beat myself up about it.

I am super excited about going to see Twilight Breaking Dawn tonight. Yes, it doesn't take much to entertain me. Just a little eye candy and some fromage ;)

That sore throat I had on Saturday has thankfully passed because I do not have time to be sick. Not even close.

No time

Tonight I have a sore throat. The kind of sore throat that mean your getting sick. And I don't have time to be sick. Not again. I just got over a nasty cold from a week ago. I'm at my moms tonight and I took some extra vitamin D and my mom had me gargle with salt water and fingers crossed it will just go away.

Continuing Education

I think I need to start writing these posts during the day. If I keep waiting till this late at night I can guarantee nothing intelligent will ever be written on this blog again :)

Rebecca @bitofmomsense had giving me a prompt for a post last night as well. She asked me to write about "If I could learn one new thing, it would be..."

This is a tough one for me. Mostly because I categorise learning in two categories, things I want to learn for fun, and things I need to learn. And you know I can't think of just one thing I need to learn.

I think I'll just list them.

Thing I would learn for fun:
Knitting
Tole Painting (I took a few courses and really enjoyed it, but haven't done it in years)
Pastry cooking
How to make my own furniture (I lurk ana-white.com and covet so many of her plans. Some day...)
How to ride a mountain bike and go trail riding.

Things I have to learn
How to be a more effective manager (managing people is hard y'all)
How to be a better software tester (I am a QA manager and testing is my job, but I still have a lot to learn)
How to keep house (I am a terrible housekeeper, terrible. I need to work on this)

I'm sure I could come up with more but this is a start. I am already working on all of the items on my "have to learn" list. I recently bought a few work related books to read and I am working on getting a course for my staff to attend on better SW testing. I am always working on keeping house. I think that one will be a lifelong project.

I have to say it is fun thinking up things I would like to learn. I know some day I'll have more free time and I'll tackle those as well.

Friendly inspiration

I was on twitter tonight wasting some time. My brain is tired and I wanted to say hi to the twitterverse. I don't get on there as much as I used to. I was having a hard time coming up with a post for tonight so I threw it out there. Did anyone have any post ideas for me. And I had a time limit. I want to be in bed by 10pm, 20 minutes to write. And of course the tweeps they always come through for you. @l8enough suggested I post 5 reasons why I need to be in bed by 10pm. So here goes:

1. I like 8 hours sleep. I really wish I could function well with less but I don't. If I could, my house would be way cleaner and i would watch way more tv.
2. I just like to sleep ~omg this is harder than I thought it would be~
3. I am lazy ~this is a revelation. Honestly! I guess I need to think about my infatuation with sleep. Or I need to take my iron supplement again. I am wasting my life sleeping!~
4.
5.
I can't think of any good reason for me to go to sleep. I have lots to do and I stress all the time about not having enough TIME. Meanwhile I take all this time to sleep. I definitely need to re-evaluate my priorities. I can live with 30 mins to an hour less sleep a night if it might make me happier and reach more of my goals... Honestly I didn't expect this post to go in this direction. I just typed and this is what came out. Who knew?!

My mo

My husband, like thousands of other men across Canada is participating in Movember. There are the obvious benefits of participation, supporting a good cause and raising awareness about Prostate cancer. But there has been a surprise benefit that I hadn't considered. The camaraderie with his fellow male co-workers.

Last night he commented to me that it was "guys supporting guys" and that struck me. My husband doesn't have a large circle of friends. Not like I do. He doesn't have as many people to talk to when he needs help or support. He doesn't write a blog to help him feel connected with his fellow man. These are all things many of us women have (and do) to help us feel supported.

His connection to other men is often superficial in a friendly way. Not that he couldn't handle that type of friendship but men often don't confide in each other the way women do. So Movember is allowing him and other males to support each other in a way they may not normally. A connection at a deeper level than usual. And I think this is a great thing.

Too late

I waited too late to post tonight and now my brain is tired. D2 had bucketloads of energy and took till past 9:30 to fall asleep. M on the other hand was sound asleep by 6pm. I think 1st grade exhausts him. To cap off the evening Kevin and I finished watching Smokey and the Bandit. Ummm, ya. Kinda boring but my hubby thinks Sally Field was hot. Which is fine cause Burt Renolds wasn't too shabby himself. (take that Kevin)
Night all.

Team sports

I play soccer on Monday nights. I started in the spring in an outdoor league and enjoyed it enough to sign up for an indoor league this fall. I played soccer briefly as a young teen but I stopped when I thought I couldn't handle the competitive nature of it.

I avoided team sports for almost 20 years because I still held that shy idea that I couldn't perform in that type of environment. Now that I am back in the game and slowly improving I am so happy to be involved. Not only is it great exercise and stress relief, it is fun! Most of the time anyhow. Sometimes it is hard, but I can usually turn that into a learning experience for myself. Working as a team, a real team is such a valuable part of living and learning. In an environment where I am not the one in control. Where things may not go my way. Where I absolutely must rely on others to get the job done (the goal). It is a great exercise for the mom/manager in me who is so used to taking on every responsibility. Do you or have you played team sports? What do you get out of it?

180

After two days of complaining about my kids I have to say today was down right perfect. It was a day full of quality time, almost no TV time, play, dancing, singing, outdoors, fun.

It started with a 9am hockey game where I watched my 10yo who has grown into such an amazing hockey player, play his heart out. He even scored the teams second goal of the game. He loves hockey so much and this year is so intent on improving his game, it is such a pleasure to watch.

After some play time and lunch I spent an hour having a much needed nap with D2. The worse of this cold may have passed but I am still tired. Of course staying out till 1am visiting with my neighbour didn't help my being tired (I am an incurable social butterfly).

M helped (like actually helped, really!) us put up our outdoor Christmas decorations. He so loves feeling useful, I need to remember that and involve him in household activities more often. He is capable I just need to take the time to show him what to do. After the decorations were up D2, M and I played outside for almost 2 hours. It was such a warm afternoon, we cranked up the stereo in the garage and we danced and played. We outlasted the sunlight and finally made our way in for supper around 5:30.

I really needed a relaxed, fun day with my kids like today. To remind me why I have a family in the first place, and why it is so important to enjoy them. I didn't get much housework done and I know on Wednesday I'll start stressing about that. Then I'll have to remind myself to re-read this post and get in touch with what is really important. And a freshly vacuumed living room isn't it.

I think the baby is trying to kill me

Not overtly but OMG. As a part two to my post yesterday. This child. He gets into everything, climbs everywhere. Has to be in my arms or at my feet constantly. I have to sneak away like a thief if I want to do anything. It makes me anxious. I love him, don't get me wrong. I love him oh so very much. He sings, he hugs and kisses, he is a darling and I wouldn't trade him for anything. I only ask for short moments. Thankfully I am getting one of those moments now. He is playing in the basement with his brother and I am listening to make sure he doesn't bean his brother in the head with a toy golf club, or attempt to scale the TV unit. We never had to worry about this stuff with our first two. It is a whole new world. I have heard people say this of their third sons. I wonder it is confined to boys or if third daughters can be the same. You can't help but love AND be exasperated by them. It's all part of their charm. I guess I should wrap this up now, M just informed me that D2 is hitting the TV with the golf club. I guess that is better than hitting his brother...

funny thing about kids

Is that they can have you overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and then swooning with love, and all that can happen in the span of 15 minutes. It amazes me how they can push all my buttons. How one moment I can't imagine being anywhere but with them. And then a little while later I am daydreaming of some time alone. NO KIDS. Why not right. We have been parents for over 10 years and the longest we have been away from our kids (together) has been 24 hours. It's kinda crazy. We don't have any immediate plans to run off to Mexico for a week or anything, but I am not averse to the idea. If someone had asked me if I would like to go on a vacation without my kids 5 years ago I would have said NEVER. Now, well I think a few days away would do us all some good. Have you gone on vacation without your kids?

sick, sick, sick

If it wasn't for NaBloPoMo I wouldn't even post today. But it is a good thing it is forcing me to post because even though I am sick, and now D and D2 are also sick, I have good news. I can scratch something off my bucket list (on Dec 3rd anyhow). I just bought tickets to see Prince in concert! I am so excited. I am such a huge fan and last time he came to town it wasn't convenient for me to go. This time I am not letting this opportunity pass. I have the tickets and I couldn't be happier! YAY!

My man cold

Tonight I feel like i am coming down with a head cold. You know, that stuffed sinus, weak, puffy eyes feeling. I am hoping some mega doses of vitamins will ward off this cold, fingers crossed.

For the record, I am not a good sick person. I don't like being sick. I would like to be a person who toughs out a cold or flu sans medication. But alas I am not that person. I am the female version if the man cold. Sorta. I don't beg to be helped but I like to be left alone. I like to go to bed early with my niquil or neo citran and hide under the covers. The way I see it, I am strong most of the time. This is my time to lay back and hand over the reigns.

On another topic entirely, I am writing this post from my iPhone using a blogger app! How awesome is that. I have been dragging my computer home for no reason. I don't know why I didn't think of searching for this app before. But I am glad I found it now.

40 bags in 40 days.

The state of my home weighs on my mind. A.LOT.  My home is not dirty but there is far too much clutter to allow me to relax fully and that is why I am working on fixing things. But unlike past attempts to declutter my home, I think this one just might work. I found the link to this on Pinterest and I think it might save me. It is called 40 bags in 40 days. It is a list of 40 areas in my house that need my attention. They are small areas, nothing that would take longer than 15 minutes to do. The idea is to keep each task small so that I can handle doing one each day.  As an example, I needed to go through my buffet and I broke it up into 4 task items. 3 of the tasks are drawers and the top is the 4th. As you are cleaning/organizing the items need to be recycled, discarded, consigned or relocated to appropriate areas.  I will admit that I wrote out this list in September and only started working on it last week, but I have decided not to berate myself. Just roll with it and do what I can when I can. So far I have 3 items scratched off, this is over and above any other household cleaning I do. But even with those 3 small items I am seeing improvement. I can't wait till it is all done. Then I will do another list of 40 and tackle those. In theory my whole house could be covered in 80 days. And then I will implement the how to fake an immaculate house on 15 minutes a cleaning a day!

Man, friends and family will come over to visit and they'll think they have entered the wrong house! :)

Just in case you were wondering I wrote this post as if I am the only one doing this, but Kevin is an active participant. Which is another reason why I think this project just might succeed. We are working on it as a team. GO TEAM!

one week

I almost went to bed without writing this post. Which would have sucked cause I really want to do this NaBloPoMo thing right. So here I am, on my computer at 9:53pm. I don't expect any brilliance to spring forth tonight but I thought I could give you an update about the kids.

D is doing really well in school. I am not sure if I discussed it on here but we removed him from the Early French Immersion program. That involved changing schools, which was very stressful but went really well. He is very happy in school, loves learning in english and is bringing home much better grades. Really the grades weren't why we decided to change him. What we wanted was for him to have success at school. For it to not feel like an uphill battle all the time. Even though he misses his old friends, he is enjoying making new ones and his enthusiasm about school is just out of this world. Last week he stayed after school to attend homework club and was helped with long division. He came home and PRACTICED LONG DIVISION for an hour. On his own, no prompting from us. We are so happy things have worked out with this change.

M was also changed to the new school and removed from EFI. He was displaying many of the same issues that D had when he was in SK and we just decided to cut our losses and pull him into the english stream right away. He has the option of taking MFI when he gets to 4th grade so we will see how that goes.

D2 is growing like a weed and keeping us on our toes. He is so happy and independent. He plays, laughes and talks constantly. His favourite thing at the moment is the Zamboni at D's hockey games. We always get to the games early enough for D2 to watch the Zamboni before the game and also stay to watch it after. He calls it a 'boni' and it is soooo cute. I really need to get it on video. I need to get all my kids on video more.

How are things for you all?

Twice a year torture

WHY do we have to do this. WHY! Why can't we just pick a time and stick with it. Before I had kids I loved "fall back" and hated "spring forward". Well now I hate them BOTH. Pure hatred.

What is there not to hate. My 22mo was up at 5:20 this morning and only finally fell asleep at 9:40. If this was yesterday the clock would have looked like 6:20 to 10:40. TEN freaken FOUTY. I was begging the kid to fall asleep. He is singing songs and kicking his feet and laughing, thinking he is all cute. GAHHH.

Now I am off to bed. Cause if this was yesterday it would be 10:46 and that is past my bedtime.

Night all.

Where are they now

This morning the song Moonlight Desires from Gowan popped into my head. I have always loved this song. Even today, 24 years later, it's a great one. Then I wondered, where is he now? Does he have a family? Does he still sing? Maybe he is a writer/producer. Of course in this digital age it didn't take long to get the info I was looking for.

He is still signing singing (this is a vid of him signing singing Moonlight Desires live in Montreal just this past March). He is married and has two children. He has played regularly all these years and I had no idea that in 1999 he took over as the lead singer for Styx. He seems to be doing extreemly well for himself, which I am happy to hear. Especially since he is a Canadian artist. Way to go Gowan!

Edited to add: I can't believe I wrote sign instead of sing twice! Shesh, I must have been tired. And no one mentioned it, you all are too nice :). 

Giveaway alert! Marks

***Giveaway closed,  Congratulations to Julie! (comment 11)***

If you follow my blog at all you know that Marks and I have a thing going on. Every now and then they send me a gift card to giveaway to my readers, which I love to do. In return I tell you a bit about something they are doing. Since I actually shop at Marks regularly it is a win win.

I'll hold up my side of the bargain and then I'll help them hold up theirs. Marks has re-launched their e-commerce site. Have a look:

http://www2.marks.com/

Their Look Book is integrated with their web site (although I only see the link pop up on the Main Splash  Winter 2011 spash page now and then, would be nice to have a permanent link to somewhere on the page). I am partial to look 3, perfect for work. Lots of sales on the site and free shipping until December 31st. Who doesn't love free shipping?!

Now in celebration of Marks re-launching their e-commerce site I am once again holding a giveaway for a $50 gift card. Just before Christmas, perfect timing in my books. Use it for a gift (or as a gift), or buy something nice for yourself. What ever you prefer. Just be sure to enter the giveaway by leaving a comment here. You have until November 8th at midnight to enter.

So here's a question, which is your favourite look? You don't have to answer the question to enter ;) just comment.

Never thought of this when I signed up...

Not long ago a friend of my husbands died at his own hand. It is a complicated story that began with terrible trauma early on which set the blueprint for a tortured existence. Having reached his mid 30’s it was hoped that he had conquered his demons. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

Like many of us he had a facebook page. Looking at his page now there are posts with people are saying goodbye and sad tributes. One of the last posts is an inappropriate comment about his death and the afterlife.

My husband finds the posts to his friends page strange. He will log in and see a comment to a dead person, the name on his news feed. Like a ghost coming out of the shadows.

I wonder if I would want people writing on my facebook wall if I should pass. Who would control what people wrote if I was no longer here. How would my friends feel if my name kept popping up on their newsfeed. Would it make them smile, or would it freak them out? What if people kept tagging me in photos, even after I am dead. Would my husband like that? Or would it break his heart.

It seems to me that I should consider having all the information about my digital footprint available to my husband (family) should I pass. I should consider what I would want to happen. Do I want my blog to remain online? Do I want my facebook page to stay open? Maybe I would want my facebook to stay open but not allow any writing on my wall. I am not sure how long a page can go without activity before facebook deems it inactive and shuts it down.

What do you think? Have you encountered something like this?

All over the place

Well, day 2 and I am already drawing a blank. I guess stream of consciousness is the way to go today.

I am a crappy boss. I have 5 team members that work for me and most of them are excellent employees. I am going to have to deal with one who isn’t pulling his weight and it is giving me grey hair. I hate it. I am only a good manager when things go well. Or maybe I am only a happy manager when things go well. Who knows. All I know is I need to contact HR and I don’t like to do that.

I am on pinterest and I wonder, those people who post all day long and have thousands of pins… How do they keep track of it all. I only have 400 pins and I am already considering doing some housekeeping to get rid of the ones I don’t need.

Speaking of virtual housekeeping, I really need to clean up by post labels. I have 69 of them and that is useless. I should try and bring that down to 20 or less.

The kids loved Halloween this year. Even D2 got in on the action. Our neighbour across the street always goes all out and his yard is very scary. After we were done trick or treating M (6yo) came up to me with a very serious face. He informed me that if we wanted to increase the number of kids that come to our door, our house will have to be scarier than that house. He is totally serious and I am thinking our days of digging into the Rubbermaid bin for 5 year old dollar store decorations are over.

Balance

I am nervous to say that this is post 1 of many. I will be posting every day for the next 30 days. I almost can’t believe it. I almost didn’t do it. I clicked on the register button for NaBloPoMo and sat there staring at the screen, wondering if I was biting off more than I could chew. I probably am, but here goes…

I figured I should start with the reason why I haven’t posted much this past year. It is not what you would expect. You may think that it is because I am having a harder time managing my time since returning to work after having my 3^rd child. You may think that it is because I am dead tired from waking in the night with my 3^rd child. A child who at 22 months continues to wake up at least once during the night most nights (2 months ago Kevin and I swapped night wake up duties so I am fairly well rested and he is the dead tired one). As true as both of those may be, they are not why I stopped blogging.

I stopped blogging because I recommitted to my day job. Before I left on leave I used to write my blog posts during my work day. When I returned to work I decided that if I was to grow in my job I needed to commit to it fully. And that meant no more blogging during work hours. It also meant no more reading blogs during work hours. In the last few weeks I have loosened up those rules. Not because I want to slack off at my job, more because I miss blogging. I appreciate the quality of the interaction that is generated from posting and reading. In short, I am trying to find a balance. Hopefully this balance will have me around a bit more.